That's Nice

Kath D

I am a grateful faith pilgrim, educator, learner, daughter, wife, Mum, sister, niece, aunty, cousin, friend, parishioner, team mate, running buddy, colleague, neighbour - of Irish Catholic and Scottish ancestry, residing happily in the beautiful Pito-one.

During my primary education one of my teacher’s had banned the word ‘nice’, due to our overuse of it in our writing! She encouraged us to use a greater variety of stronger and more descriptive adjectives. As a result, I have always avoided the word ‘nice’.

In August 2023 however, the word ‘nice’ took on a new meaning.

Dad had ended up in hospital because we couldn’t get into his GP and he possibly needed antibiotics. The medical centre apologised and said that I needed to take him to the ED.

Six weeks and two falls later, he was still there - enjoying his newspaper and homemade coffee that I delivered to him each day. Then something shifted and there were some full on afternoons, evenings and nights and he was no longer interested in the coffee or food.

On this particular early evening visit I had asked to see the doctor (we had spoken a few times before) as I had many questions…

“What is happening here?”

“Is this the dementia ramping up or is it something else?”

“What do I tell my siblings?”

”Am I still looking for a rest home bed?”

“Do we still really need to be talking about Furosemide?”

“What is the plan?”

Questions, listening and tears… the young doctor - vague and unsure. We agreed I would come back the next morning to meet with the medical team, discuss where Dad was at and the next steps.

Left alone, I held Dad’s hand - watched, wondered and cried a bit more. To allay my sense of helplessness and deep desire for him to have a peaceful night - I put my hand on his forehead, closed my eyes and silently prayed…words, questions, thoughts, tears - tumbling over each other unfiltered, jumbled & emotional.

Then a pause… a big breath and opening my eyes I slowly, silently and individually asked Dad’s deceased parents and siblings to come and wrap their arms around him, stay with him and give him peace that night. As I finished saying the name of his younger brother… a warmth and energy like I have never known flowed through my arm and into Dad‘s forehead - his eyes opened and a look of such peace, love & happiness came over his face… “That’s nice” he said softly and closed his eyes again.

In that moment, I knew he could see his family, they were there with him, as love, warmth and a peace ‘beyond our understanding’.

A little later, I gave him a kiss, a sign of the cross on his forehead, and whispered “I love you - sleep well”.

I had a peace-filled, reflective drive home, relieved that Dad was not alone and that he would sleep peacefully that night.

Early the next morning when I received the news that Dad had passed away, the prayer, power, presence & peace of the evening before suddenly made complete sense - God is indeed good all the time. Gratitude, grief and relief flowed through me in equal measure.

What a privilege and a blessing to have shared such a beautiful and powerful experience of the love and peace of God and an irrefutable glimpse of the next place. That is indeed ‘nice’* - thank you God.

*pleasing and agreeable