That’s When Everything changed

Jelvine Cortez

I live in Auckland New Zealand. I am a single parent to two beautiful children.

I was a Catholic before encountering Jesus.

Let me explain.

I come from the Philippines. I was born and raised a Catholic, educated in Catholic schools and did everything Catholic. We lived a few metres from the church, and I served at Mass, sang at the church choir, and prayed the rosary and novenas. I had a deep faith and was close to God.

Or so I thought.

After secondary school, I got a scholarship to study in a Catholic university in Manila. Coming from a rural province, I did not know anything about living in a big city and how to adapt to a highly urbanised and socialised life. And that’s when everything changed. I did not realise that I was falling away from God and just doing the motions of being a Catholic. Yes, I was still going to Mass and receiving communion, but it was empty and meaningless. I made unwise decisions that impacted my life and my future. I found myself unmarried with two children, troubled, broken, and unwanted. But I was also full of pride. I thought surely, I can fix this.

My personal relationship with Jesus did not come like a ‘St Paul moment’. There was neither a blinding light nor a thundering voice. It was a slow process with a lot of doubts and questions. Amidst all these, I continued my Catholic routine. One day as I sat quietly at the Blessed Sacrament, not knowing how to pray anymore, I heard a small voice in my heart that led me to Psalm 139. ‘Where can I go from your spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence?... If I take the wings of the morning and settle at the farthest limits of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me fast…’ Then I broke down and surrendered with humility.

From then on, I saw God working miracles in my life. With my two beautiful children, we migrated to New Zealand to be with the rest of my family. We did not have the means or resources, but God provided along the way. And He is not finished with me yet. With His infinite love and grace, I trust that He has the best purpose for me. And for you too.