I Left to Rise Again

Anonymous

God is my life, and my marriage vows meant forever.

Pierced by a sword through the heart was how it felt when I read my husband’s note saying he was in love with another woman. I’ll never forget being led by the Holy Spirit to a drawer where I found a piece of paper with the evidence. We had a young family, and I thought we had a happy marriage.

I then felt like I was experiencing my own passion.

The public humiliation in a small town, the deceit, the lies and betrayal. I was made to feel ugly. It will be imprinted on my mind forever.

When he said he was not coming home it felt like I had been nailed to a cross. I talked to a priest and will never forget the overwhelming feeling of empowerment as I left to rise again to face my own and my children’s heartbreak, debtors, and to just keep working. It was a new life. Eventually forgiveness was important to release myself and him. It was an example to my children. Our marriage had died but through sheer hard work it was renewed.

Unbelievably many years later there was a repeat. It was at the time of the Christchurch earthquakes, and I also felt the earth shake. My knees buckled from under me when I was told. He had been so clever that I never suspected but his behaviour had been shocking. All the children had been affected the first time and the son who had struggled for years as he had been his role model had found it hard to forgive. When he heard he messaged him to say he loved him. How he had matured. I fell into depression but once again had to keep working to avoid bankruptcy although it was hard to function. Total reliance and faith in God helped me manage.

I reflect that I was sent an angel who walked in the door of my business as a customer. She counselled me and helped me see from another perspective. She was close at the time, but I have never seen her again.

It took years to repair but we did, and we now live in peace and are loving our final years together.

I reflect that it was necessary to suffer as it was such a close time with God, and I can empathise with other people.